“You make it sound like you did it on purpose so I would know how you fucking felt. The fucked up thing is that you knew and you didn’t give a fuck. You never cared about my feelings. Because if you did. If you even gave the smallest bit of a flying fuck about me, you would not have done this. You told me that you loved me. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. And honestly, after what you’ve been putting me through, I don’t want to fucking know you. There’s no way I can be friends with someone who hurts me and does nothing at all to put a stop to it. You just sit there and watch. So fuck it. Let me enjoy my broken heart in peace. I don’t need you. YOU did this to ME. I really hate that I’ve lost you, but it’s your fault. And I wish it wasn’t. Because I’m going to miss it all. Just you. I will miss you. But I can’t anymore. So enjoy your life without me..”
I didn’t do this on purpose. I was just stating that I know what it feels like, I’ve been through it. And don’t ever say that I never cared. If I never cared I wouldn’t have been with you in the first place. I love you, and I always will. Whether you chose to believe that is up to you. I didn’t do this on purpose. I told you in the beginning, I warned you. I told you where I was in life and I told you my intentions and I told you not to expect anything and I told you I couldn’t make you any promises. You chose not to listen to me. I never wanted to hurt you. It was never my plan. But sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want it to. I know I fucked up, I know. I hate myself for it, trust me. I hate myself more than you could ever hate me, I have the scars to prove it. If I could go back and erase myself from your life, I would. Hell, if I could erase myself from life in general, better believe I’d do it. But I can’t, I’m here now and there’s nothing I can do but tell you that I’m here. I always told you that even if I couldn’t be there for you romantically, I’d always be your friend. I’ll always be here for anything else you need. It isn’t my fault I couldn’t be the person you wanted and needed, but I told you I couldn’t in the beginning. I understand that you hate me now. I get it. I deserve it. I deserve everything bad that could possibly happen to me. You deserve better. Better than me, better than this. And I told you that many many times. But you stuck around anyway. There was nothing I could do. I fucked up, I know. And I know it’s my fault that you’re hurting. So go ahead and hate me, because you need to. But when it heals I’ll still be here for you. Just like I told you before. And just like I’ll keep telling you. Just because I couldn’t be with you doesn’t mean I love you any less. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. But I know that you’ll be fine. You know why? Because you are an incredible human being. You are far stronger than I ever will be and you will be able to get through this and come out even stronger after. I’ve always admired you, and I always will. Just please take care of yourself.