I’ve lost a lot of weight the last week. I haven’t been eating much. I’m 112 now. This is the skinniest I’ve been in a while. Probably like two years. Hah. It’s funny. Before the summer I was pushing 130 and now I’m almost at the weight I was when I graduated high school. But I guess continuously getting sick and constantly being depressed can do that.
I’m pretty sure he saw my scars the other night. He must have. There is no way that he didn’t, they were very much out in the open. He didn’t say anything though. And I realized in the middle of the night that they were completely visible and I just stopped and stood there for a minute. I couldn’t look at him, I felt so stupid. I was feeling so good that I completely forgot what I was supposed to be hiding. He asked me what was wrong and I just shook my head. I decided that if he had seen them and it was a problem, he’d say something, and since he didn’t say anything then it’s okay. I just can’t stop thinking about it. I keep worrying he’s going to bring it up, but he hasn’t. I guess we’ll see.
I came home from work yesterday and went straight to bed. I slept for over 12 hours. I don’t feel any better though. Thankfully I don’t have to work today so I made plans to keep myself distracted from how much I want to die.